December Blog 2015 - Post Traumatic Growth: Be the Coffee
by Susan Myhre Hayes on 12/05/15December Blog 2015 - Post Traumatic Growth: Be the Coffee
On December 5, 2014, my life changed. While on a business trip in Phoenix, a fall
following a seizure caused a TBI and brain bleed. The anniversary of my accident felt like the
right time to begin my blog again and reflect on what I have learned in the
last year.
Steadfast friends and family, who have supported me during
my recovery, consistently asked me when I would be writing my next book. The idea of writing again seemed remote during
the first months of my recovery, but they were consciously planting a seed that
helped me look forward. The more I came
out of the fog, the more I was able to think about making sense of what had
happened to me. The more I came out of
the fog, the more I was able to see that writing would be the vehicle.
So, one year after my accident, I begin my blog again with a
story from my first book, Peace in the
Puzzle: Becoming Your Intended Self.
An unhappy young woman complained to her grandmother about
the state of her life. Everything was
awful. The grandmother listened
carefully and then asked her granddaughter to place three pots of water on the
stove and bring them to a boil. Once
they were boiling, she asked the girl to place a carrot in one pot, an egg in
another and ground coffee beans in the third.
Then they waited.
The grandmother asked her how the carrots had changed. The carrot was now soft, answered the
girl. And, the egg? It was still fragile on the outside but became
hard on the inside. The grandmother poured her a cup of coffee, and it was just
the way she liked it.
Each had faced the same adversity – the boiling water – but
each reacted differently to it, explained the grandmother. The carrot went in hard and unrelenting and
became soft. The egg had been fragile and when it encountered the boiling
water, it became hard. The ground coffee
beans were different. When they
encountered the boiling water, they transformed the water.
Over the last year as I faced my adversity, I have been both
the carrot and the egg. When I refused
to believe my life had changed, the reality that it had changed left me soft
and depressed like the carrot. When I
felt fragile because I feared another fall, I became anxious and hard like the
egg. I am now trying every day to be
like the coffee and change the water to something beautiful. I am striving for post traumatic growth.
The last year has helped me learn not only how precious life
is but also what is important in life. Through
this blog, I invite you to join me on the journey to post traumatic growth.