June 2013 Blog - Are you finding exactly what you are looking for? : Peace in the Puzzle

June 2013 Blog - Are you finding exactly what you are looking for?

by Susan Myhre Hayes on 06/11/13

Are you finding exactly what you are looking for?

A policeman came upon an inebriated man one night, who was on his hands and knees looking for something on the corner of the street.

“Lose something?” asked the policeman.

“My keys,” said the man.

“Did you lose them on this corner,” asked the policeman.

“No, I lost them in the alley,” said the man.

“So, why are you looking here?” asked the policeman.

“This is where the light is,” replied the man.

Where you look makes a difference.  And, where we look depends how we define the issue and the questions that we ask about the issue.  The answers we are looking for, we find.  We find exactly what we are looking for. So be sure you are looking in the right place.

If the issue is unhappiness in your work, you might define the issue as “unhappiness” or “your work.”  If you define the issue as your unhappiness, you will need to ask questions first about what is making you unhappy.  The solution may have nothing to do with your job but everything to do with a bad relationship.

How we define the problem will determine how we solve it.

But, let’s say your unhappiness does come from your job.  Each of us questions the career path we have taken, and at different times in our lives, each of us longs for something different.  Where we look to find that something different depends completely on the questions that we ask.  For the questions that we ask, determine the answers that we get.

For example, if your job is the root of your unhappiness, here are three of the questions you might ask yourself:


  •        How can I change my boss’s behavior, so I am happier at work?
  • Have I been happy in other jobs?
  • Is this the right field of work for me?


Unless you have a magic wand, the only person who will be able to change your boss is your boss.  So, if your question is how do I change my boss, your answers might include getting others to dislike your boss, too, pouting on the job of sighing a lot.  All of these answers do nothing to address your unhappiness on the job.  You are asking the wrong question if happiness is what you seek.

If you have been unhappy in other jobs, your next question might be “Am I happy anywhere?” or it may be “What makes me happy?”  The answers to each of the questions will yield different answers and different solutions.  

If being in the wrong line of work is what is making you unhappy, questions might range from “Do I need to be happy in my work to be happy in my life,” to “What other jobs interest me?”

How you frame the issue and define the problem determine how we solve it.  Which questions you ask determine what answers you get.

Are you finding exactly what you are looking for?

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 Peace in the Puzzle
                                     Becoming your Intended Self
Susan Myhre Hayes
Susan is passionate aobut each of us becoming out best self no matter what our challenges.  
In her engaging and blog, Best Self, she continues the conversation about self-transformation and intentional change begun in her book.