April 2013 Blog - Using the If/Then Technique for Self-Transformation

Using the If/Then Technique for Self-Transformation

I was reminded of the if/then sentences I used to teach in parenting classes when my son and daughter-in-law masterfully used this technique with my grandchildren when I was visiting them recently. When I was teaching parenting classes, the use of if/then sentences was a quick way to improve parent /child interaction, as in “If you clean up your room, then you can go outside to play with your friends,” OR “If you wake your brother in the morning gently, then you can use the car to drive you both to school.”   It usually is a magical and fast acting tactic.

It occurred to me that I utilized if/then with myself during my self-transformational 60^th year.  My “then” was becoming my intended self by writing a book about self-transformation, and two of the “ifs” were “If you quit drinking, you will be able to write at night and finish your book,” AND “If you get your finances under control, you will have the resources you need to publish your book.”   Holding out the “then” carrot was a powerful motivator for me to accomplish the “ifs”. People understand sacrifice if they understand the reason for it. 

All of us long for the self-transformation that will lead to self-fulfillment.  And while, many of us are too hard on ourselves when it comes to our abilities, most of us know what it would take to become our intended self. I believe that each of us knows what our “then” is.

What are your “thens”?  What are the “ifs” it will take to get there?  Commit yourself to your “then” and do the “ifs” it takes to get there. 

As Goethe is quoted as saying, "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now."