May 2012 - Intentional growth
by Susan Myhre Hayes on 05/21/12
Intentional growth
Each of us is growing all the time. Our hair grows about an inch a month. Our nails grow a little less than an inch a year. And, we all have heard that our skin completely regenerates every seven years although experts disagree about that.
But many of us yearn for a different kind of growth. Growth that will lead us to find the person we are meant to be. Growth that will lead us to our one-of-a-kind purpose. Unlike hair growth, this requires us to be intentional. We need to change intentionally to achieve this kind of growth.
In my book, Peace in the Puzzle: Becoming Your Intended Self , I describe how I intentionally transformed and the tools I used to do so. Looking backward, I see there were four things I needed to make that happen:
- A strong desire to transform;
- A belief that people can transform;
- A belief that good turning point should never be wasted; and
- A willingness to let change happen.
Desire to transform: How do you get a strong desire to transform? Your sense of urgency may come from the acknowledgement that where you are and what you are aren’t right. Think of your life now, then take your age, add the number of years you have left until your average life expectancy. Now, decide if you can live as you are for that number of years. Do you now have a strong desire to transform?
Belief that we can transform: Do you believe that people can transform? I do. I think that people are capable of change, but they will only do things that are important to them.
This is why people who don’t know how to swim sometimes find their way to shore in an emergency. First they have to know they are drowning. Next they need to want to get to shore. How do you come to believe this? Look for evidence that you have transformed in the past. What happened when you changed jobs, started college or moved to another city? Here is a good affirmation to try: I am grateful I can make the changes I want and need in my life.
Don’t waste turning points: Turning points are a tool to help you on your journey; they should never be wasted. Turning points can be large or small – a job change, a job loss, a break-up, an extraordinary travel experience, an inspirational speaker. Choose a turning point in your life and say this affirmation this week: This turning point will be the beginning of the changes I will make in my life.
Let it happen: Then be willing to let change happen. You need commitment. Not a wish nor a hope, but a commitment. If you are truly committed, you say, “I will do whatever is necessary to grow intentionally this year,” rather than, “I want to grow and discover my purpose.”
Begin with small steps and watch them grow. An African saying asks how you eat an elephant. The answer—one bite at a time. What steps can you take today on your transformational journey?
